How we got lost and how we can reconnect with ourselves again

Any traumatic experience will engage the nervous system to respond and manage our safety. If the nervous system is not given the time and safe environment to restore back to normal then we can get caught in over alert or shut down states, sometimes without even our awareness. As time passes we may become aware that we have become disconnected from ourselves.

This disconnection can feel like we are not sure how we feel or what we think about things. It can appear as though we are living our life in ways that don't match our values and beliefs. It can seem like we move into emotional states without knowing how or why. We can seem to be irrational, we have trouble making decisions and we seem to be unaware when others cross our boundaries.

Listening to our body sensations, body signals and feeling sensations are essential for our interactions, decisions and responses. When these are silenced after trauma, we then become  reliant on our thoughts and thinking without the important information our body gives us. This creates the disconnectedness of feeling ungrounded, unbalanced and not aware of our needs, wants, values and beliefs. It can leave us open to the repercussions of decisions that are not aligned and true of ourselves, sadly confirming our belief that we are broken and increasing our feelings of self contempt. 

To heal and reconnect with ourselves we need safety first, then we need to slow down.

So though the nervous system is doing its best to protect us, when it becomes dysregulated it’s unable to do its job as well. Like all our body’s systems, when illness sets in, it’s essential that there is time to recover, repair and restore in order to heal. So after trauma our nervous system and brain basically need time to recover and restore in a safe environment to heal.

The most powerful way to aid your nervous system’s healing is firstly by creating safety and then by slowing down. Any healing after trauma needs a sense of safety to be established first. This may mean changing your environment to support your needs, being with people you trust and can depend upon and establishing a routine that creates as much ease in your life as possible. When support like this is available, your body, nervous system and brain actually feel able to slow down and restore. With time the healing will happen naturally, in the same way you start to feel more relaxed and in touch with yourself during a long holiday.

As the healing begins after slowing down in a safe environment you will feel a natural instinct to reconnect with yourself. The body is finally saying ‘yes’ and the nervous system and brain are re-tuning to listen to your body, instead of focusing on outward threat detection. With this relaxation then can follow a re-building of trust in ourselves and an opening to interacting with others with a more authentic and integrated sense of self. This is what we call embodiment.

Giselle Lamberth

Embodiment Institute Somatic Healing Programs

Clinical Social Worker, Somatic Psychotherapist